


Smoke

by NaGaKi108



Category: Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Addiction, Gen, Implied Analogical, Implied underage smoking, Smoking, Thomas Roman and Patton are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 10:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12341259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaGaKi108/pseuds/NaGaKi108
Summary: But he sees Logan's hands shake a little when he offers a smoke to Roman, and he sees the royal's hands shake when he accepts it. And part of Virgil feels terrified





	Smoke

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically me talking about addictions, in especific the three older sides habit of smoking and Virgil's addiction regarding soda  
> Believe me when i tell you it sounds dumb, but when you've been drinking soda for longer than you know how to talk... Stopping feels almost as bad as trying to quit drinking or smoking

It was normal to see Logan and Roman resting against the outside wall of the house, each with a smoke hanging from their lips and lost in their own heads. Virgil knew it helped to relax them, the taste of nicotine and the smoke filled with chemicals easily going to their lungs and resting there.

He also knew Patton smoked. In the bad days, where there was really no thing that could possibly make him feel happy or upbeat, Virgil was used to seeing him under his window, a cigarette resting in his lips and small and silent tears going down his face.

He wasn’t judging them. He just had a different addiction.

He grabbed the soda bottle and took a huge gulp of it, feeling the sugar and caffeine going down his throat. A sigh left his lips and he felt his shoulders relax a little, his mind going back to the shared addiction of the three older traits.

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious.

One day, when the curiosity had reached his biggest point, he had asked Logan why he smoked

“It’s calming, in part” Logan took a deep breath and held it for a second, staring at his youngest friend “and it’s incredibly and absolutely addictive”

“But-”

“Virgil” The shorter boy closed his mouth, Logan looked incredibly serious “Nicotine fucks up your brain, makes you think you need it like oxygen, and for some of us it makes us think we can focus better”

Logan stood up, gently ruffling Virgil’s hair and sitting in the bed besides him

“Do you remember the first time I smoked?”

Virgil nodded, they were fifteen and the pressure to do things correctly was stronger than ever before. Logan and Virgil working together –but not like friends, oh no, Logan had hated him, believing firmly that Virgil was also setting them back even if he forced Thomas to push himself past the limits of what he actually should- to make Thomas be the best he could be regarding his academic path.

That’s when one day Virgil found Logan with a cigarette stick in his hand, the other covering his mouth after a coughing fit. He could see Logan crying, but he refused to go closer. They weren’t friends, and Virgil had no obligation to interact with Logan outside of work

“We had forced Thomas to study for a big test; we had him studying almost daily. I don’t think you remember this, but we failed. I failed.” Logan laughed “I needed a distraction, and Christian and Patrick had been talking about it” a shrugs was all the explanation that followed

Part of Virgil was curious, part of him saw how his friends shoulders sagged with relief whenever they breathed in the nicotine, but the other part was terrified. What if he couldn’t quit? What if it reached a point where it was dangerous? What where the limits, and would he be able to set them?

He wanted to join them. But he was scared.

He was slightly terrified whenever he looked at Logan going out of the house, Roman calling out to him only for Logan to take a package of 20 and shake it in view, hands shaking slightly in the bright light of outside.

He wanted to join. But the light reflection off of his soda bottle reminded him that he was already dealing with an addiction, and he wasn’t particularly good at dealing with it –he remembered, in the back of his head, the week when Logan tried to quit. He remembered seeing him shaking in bed, almost completely out of color and shaking like a leaf. Virgil remembers. He remembers when he tried to put down the sugary drink for good. He remembers almost crying whenever one took a drink, he remembers actually feelings like puking his insides out, he remembers how his aggression was off the rooftop that week, he remembers how taking a drink out of the bottle again felt like heaven, he remembers crying a little by how good it felt-

Virgil can’t resist an addiction, but he’s going to fight against the temptation of starting this new one. Even if the cigarette between Logan’s lips looks almost as tempting as the lips themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on tumblr!  
> https://analogically-prinxiety.tumblr.com


End file.
